The Living Wake: Celebrating Life While We're Here to Share It
Living wakes or living funerals have ancient origins and have become more popular in recent years. Unlike traditional wakes that occur after someone has died, a living wake allows people to gather and celebrate a person's life while they are still present to participate in the celebration.
A living wake is an event where someone facing a terminal illness or approaching the end of life chooses to gather their loved ones for a celebration of their life, relationships, and impact on others. It's an opportunity to share stories, express gratitude, and create meaningful final memories together.
The choice to hold a living wake comes from a place of profound intention. It allows the honoured person to:
Participate in their own celebration and hear the impact they've had on others
Share important life lessons, stories, and wisdom with loved ones
Express gratitude and love to friends and family directly
Find closure and peace in relationships
Create joyful final memories rather than only moments of grief
Living wakes can take many forms, reflecting the personality and wishes of the honored person. Some choose intimate gatherings at home, while others opt for larger celebrations in meaningful locations. Common elements often include:
Music that holds special meaning
Photographs and mementos from throughout life
Opportunities for guests to share stories and memories
Time for one-on-one conversations
Special readings, prayers, or rituals that feel meaningful
Food and drinks that hold significance
Video recordings to preserve memories for future generations
A living wake naturally brings up complex emotions. There may be tears alongside laughter, grief mixed with gratitude. This is entirely normal and appropriate. The event creates space for authentic expression of all feelings, allowing people to process together rather than alone.
While primarily centered on the person being honoured, living wakes offer profound benefits for all participants:
Family and friends get to express their love and appreciation directly
Important words don't go unspoken
Shared grief can be processed together rather than in isolation
Beautiful final memories are created
The celebration focuses on life and love rather than loss
The living wake represents a powerful shift in how we approach end-of-life celebrations. Rather than waiting until after someone is died to gather and share stories, we can choose to create space for those meaningful exchanges while our loved one is present to participate.
While not right for everyone, living wakes offer a beautiful option for those who wish to actively participate in celebrating their life and legacy. They remind us that even in the face of loss, we can choose to focus on gratitude, love and the precious gift of sharing life together.
Whether you're considering hosting a living wake or supporting someone who is, remember that there's no "right" way to do it. The most meaningful approach is one that authentically reflects the wishes and values of the person being honoured while creating space for genuine connection and celebration.
